Yeah, and you're next Littlejohn

Kill Julie Burchill

No, not a desperate plea, but a great opportunity!!

You, yes you, can now kill Julie Burchill. Thanks to time travel and my personal control over an army of sinister whispering agents of death, you can kill Julie Burchill as many times as you want, until the good, good, feeling of revenge and cheap violence has really sunk into your bones.

Why Julie Burchil you say? Why not Richard Littlejohn, Piers Morgan, or any other gafawing, sociopathic proto-human columnist scum? Well, because, err. hmmm. Well, requests for other columnists to kill gratefully received, until then just use your imagination, OK? Geez...

Just select the nature of Julie's highly improbable, but by no means unwelcome, retirement from the 'literary' scene:

At what time of day would you like Ms Burchill to expire?

Please select one or more elemental forms of death (hold down CTRL key to select many):

I know musical instruments aren't usually considered an elemental form of pain and death, but my sallow-faced merchants of doom are highly inventive (and not greatly appreciative of music).

Now, importantly, select the level of unwholesome vitriol with which the BBC will report her death. Yes, my foot-soldiers of hell do control the minds of the BBC's news staff.

And last but not least, how much childish profanity would you like to see?

Dead eyed, white skinned ministers of suffering are coming for you now! Run! Run!